Thirsty for More by Allison Allen

Author:Allison Allen
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Christian Living / Women;Christian women—Religious life;Spirituality—Christianity;Spiritual life—Christianity;Deserts—Religious aspects—Christianity;REL012130;REL012120
ISBN: 9781493415021
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2018-06-20T16:00:00+00:00

Back to Peg One

Remember those tent pegs?

heart revelation

heart restoration

heart release

Well, that first peg—heart revelation—was being driven deep into the sand in Elijah’s desert. And God was using a question to get at it.

What are you doing here, Elijah?

Elijah said, “I have been very jealous for the LORD, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away” (1 Kings 19:10 ESV).

I don’t know about you, but when I read Elijah’s words, I see something else at work, something actors like to call subtext—the real meaning or intention underneath (sub) the words (text) we are saying. In a show, an actor might be tasked to say the text, “I love you,” but the subtext might be, “I love you so much that I’m about to do something stupid.” Or “I love you. Please don’t ever leave me.” One is text. The other is subtext. I think something similar was going on with the prophet at this moment. Elijah carefully recounted his ministry and the reaction to his ministry:

I am jealous and zealous for you, the One who commands the angelic hosts. Your people, the children of Israel, have trampled on your covenant, kicked down your altars, and run your holy men through with the sword. And I am the only one left standing for you and for righteousness, and now they want me too. (1 Kings 19:10, paraphrased)

That was Elijah’s text.

But I think he also had a subtext working, and I think that subtext was something like this: “Um, God, I’ve done everything you said to do. Fought every battle you asked me to. And I am alone in this ordeal. I don’t feel like anyone is standing with me. I feel so alone. And now Jezebel is coming for my life.” Don’t you hear Elijah telling the truth on himself, his subtext fairly screaming, “I didn’t think the story of my life was going to end this way. I thought life was supposed to go more favorably for someone who has been so gung ho for your name. I thought there would be more covering, more like-minded company, more goodness. More of your obvious hand. I did not think life serving you was going to be this hard.”

If we are honest, many of us have thought something along these lines. The audacious thing is that God cared about the contents of Elijah’s heart. God cared about his feelings.

Aw, feelings.

For much of my early Christian sojourn, I had a tendency that I mistakenly believed was a holy one. I put my feelings in a bottle, corked it, and separated them from the rest of me. I would think very pseudospiritual-sounding things like, Look here, emotions, bottle it up until you are ready to allow the rational part to take the lead.

Now, please hear me. I am not saying that we need

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